A Post Entitled “Kick me in my face!”
A dear friend is allowing me to write about an experience she had with a boy who has a foot fetish. I have decided to refer to her as “Dear Friend” and him as “Cult.” Perhaps I will explain why I named him “Cult” but at this point, it’s not important.
Dear Friend and Cult met a couple of years ago when a large group of friends went on a bar crawl whilst riding beach cruisers (a beach/bike bar crawl, if you will). They immediately took a liking to each other and as the day went on and more alcohol was consumed they were smooching left and right at the bars. (I was smooching a boy too, but that’s neither here nor there.) The bar crawl ended, mainly because everyone was too drunk to stay balanced on their respective bikes, and we all headed home. Dear Friend and I happened to be living together at the time and we decided to take our smooching partners home with us. We were all far to drunk to have sex (yes, you can be too drunk to have sex) so Dear Friend and I just cuddled our boys and left it at that. The next morning the four of us went to brunch at the most delicious brunch place at the beach where two other beach bike bar crawlers piggy-backed onto our table. It wasn’t a terrible brunch except that one girl sounds like a cat in heat when she opens her mouth. No amount of mimosas could drown out that awful screeching sound!
As the days and weeks went on we both continued to see our smooching buddies. My “relationship” didn’t last long. My smooching buddy was a Republican and I am a Democrat and this was when the primaries were heating up. I think we both got tired of hearing each other berate our respective parties. However, I will give this to the Republican: his cock was ENORMOUS! Probably the biggest one I’ve ever seen. Like, porn star HUGE! Anyway, on to Dear Friend’s story…
Dear Friend and Cult began seeing each other on a semi-regular basis and out of nowhere, Cult tells Dear Friend that he likes feet. He then explains that he likes foot jobs and that he wants her to rub/kick her feet in his face while he jerks off. It helps him cum…or something. Dear Friend obliged, but the weirdness didn’t stop there. At this point in time, Dear Friend was working a restaurant. And if you’ve worked in the food service industry then you know that you are on your feet the entire time and you are very likely getting hot and sweaty. You can imagine how feet would smell after an 8 hour waitressing shift. After one such shift, Cult asks Dear Friend to go to his house but to please not wash her feet. When Dear Friend asks why, he explains that sweaty feet bring out the pheromones in skin and it just makes him hornier.
Not only did Cult like feet during sex, he liked them out of sex. He would comment on her shoes, and her toenail polish color and pretty much anything feet related. After awhile she got tired of the foot fetish taking over their sex life and she cut it off.
In the grand scheme of things, I don’t think foot fetishes are all that strange, I mean at least it’s not a pee fetish or a poop fetish! However, I don’t like feet. I don’t like my feet and I don’t like your feet. I don’t want you touching my feet, unless I’m getting a pedicure, and I don’t have any interest in touching your feet. Also, try and stick my toes in your mouth and I’ll shove my entire foot in there…and it won’t feel nice.