I’m working on my relationship with God. It’s becoming stronger than it once was and I’m feeling happy, blessed, loved by Him every day since my decision to revive this relationship.
I was talking to a couple friends how the last thing i wanted thou was people telling me, “omg you are such a hypocrite. you can’t change after all YOU’VE done. So now you think you are better than me?!”- these thoughts were constantly in my mind and i realized Satan is already trying to attack my relationship with God.
All of my friends have been very encouraging and i was thanking God how blessed i truly am to have friends who love Him as much as I do-at PUC and here. Then it happened…
The ex aimed me and having forgiven him a while ago i thought, “we can be friends”. I start talking to him and he then stops me and says, "Wow, you have changed. You think you are so much better than me now huh?" I immediately started to cry. My worst fear was being shoved in my face. I said, “NO! Not at all!” He says, “well why don’t you want to go -clubbing, drink, and other stuff- like we use to?! You’ve changed and i’m trying to invite you somewhere to hang out and you keep saying no-b/c u think you are better now”. I didn’t know what to say and just kept apologizing.
I now realize that God has changed me thou. I’ve been praying for a new heart, new habits and new ways and nothing is impossible for Him. All the stuff that i LOVED to do now honestly seems like if someone was offering me a plate of dog vomit to eat. “um, no thanks i’m good. Thank you thou!” I’m glad that I have drawn closer to Him but i’m sad that someone thinks that “they don’t know me anymore, b/c i’m all different now”.